I wait every year for these beautiful Casa Blanca lilies. They are stunning to look at and they fill the whole of my back yard with a fragrance like no other. This year, with, finally, all the rain they stayed luscious for several weeks. I literally invited friends to my backyard to smell them. YUM. And they are so darn photogenic!
I saw Jim in my dream the other morning. Or I conjured him or whatever. It seemed as if he was here. I was focusing on him as if to take his photograph, but I was too close. I had his forehead and eyes in the frame so I had to change the depth to see his whole face. He was smiling at me. Waiting for me to take the shot as patiently as ever. As soon as my cognitive consciousness realized he was there I felt a ping in my heart. Then I woke up and he was gone. I laid there for some time reliving and relishing the feeling. It was very satisfying.
He may or may not have come before, but if he did I might have not been ready to acknowledge him. I am now. I am glad for that. I am healing. I can feel it. And I am happy for it. And if he were here he would be happy for me. I was telling Cindy this earlier and she told me that she had witnessed a noticeable change in me. Since my camping weekend in Iowa I have felt an increasing lightness. I’m not going to question it, I am just going to go with it. Relish it even.
So… hopefully this blog will become less about weeping and more about the critters and foliage in my backyard and the seasonal changes that overtake them!
Or about the exceptional ice cream flavors at Sean and Natalie’s favorite place in Maine! Or the ocean view, or the rockiness of the hikes we are going to take when we get there… tomorrow!!!
I have so many things to look forward to. There are so many adventures ahead for me. And I will carry Jimmy with me in my heart wherever I go.