a little cocky

The photo for today is just a bunch of old friends floating in Table Rock Lake to get out of the heat! I had a great time At Mike and Rita’s lakehouse last week. As I said before, very laid back!

This week is, thankfully, much cooler. I’m riding up to Omaha this afternoon with Mary to see a friend. Actually, we are both seeing friends that we have been meaning to catch up with.

I have noticed something about myself (another growth opportunity) this year. I have been somewhat jealous when I see an older couple at the store or at the gym, or one helping another out of a car, or even just sitting at a table in a restaurant together. Why couldn’t that have been me and Jim? I never intend malice toward them or anyone else. I am actually happy for them and wish them well. I hope that they understand just how fortunate they are to have each other. I just have to admit the ping in my heart knowing what we are missing.

But today I also realized something else and it’s even more serious than jealousy. I know that there were times in my life married to Jim and having these precious kids that I felt beyond lucky to a little grand, maybe a little superior, maybe a little cocky in having so much love, so much stability, just so much! I don’t think I have ever taken my good fortune for granted, but I might have felt a little pompous.

Is that okay? I don’t know. I certainly never said to anyone, “Look what I have!” but I certainly felt the luxury of having the love I have had.  I am still lucky. I have Jim in my heart. I have offspring who love me and who I adore. I have the best sisters anyone could ask for and extended families galore. And don’t get me started on the wealth and depths of my friendships. 

I am thankful for all of it. And I can assure you that I take pleasure in admitting just how fortunate I am. I wish all of these blessings on you as well.