We took a hike around Ruth and Tony’s neighborhood on Christmas Eve. It was darn cold! But we got some steps in in advance of a big dinner and Pepper learned that a little pond is nowhere for a dog to swim when the temperature is in the low 30’s and it’s snowy out!
Yes, I spent this Christmas in Boulder, CO with Sean and Natalie. It was a good drive and a good holiday with Natalie’s family. He is so well loved by her family that, just by being his mother, I am as well! I am so happy that he has landed in the arms of such great people.
Elizabeth remained in Seattle with Liana. She celebrated by creating a maze of hanging lights in her great room. Not awfully practical but amazing to look at! I am planning a visit this spring. I wonder if they will still be hanging when I get there??
Dec. 30, 2023. I am having a little retreat. I am in the tiny town of Los Cerrillos just south of Santa Fe, New Mexico in a cozy in a one room casita which faces west over the hills. It is very private with a little courtyard and lovely views. A train goes by occasionally, but mostly there is just quiet and me.
My intention is to find a path forward for myself. To start afresh. My twenty months of heartbreak and recovery needs to come to an end. Continued limbo is increasingly becoming unacceptable. I want to begin again, but with some clarity and direction. Flying by the seat of my pants is not getting me out of the house or, in fact, getting me anywhere at all.
And it’s not just from Jimmy’s death, It seems as though my life has been on hold for a very long time. So long that I don’t even know what I would have chosen to do if things had been different.
Do I want to try to make art? Do I want to write? If so what kind? What about? For whom? To share or just for me?
What kind of engagement do I want to have with the world? Do I join a group? Do I reach out to old friends? (I need to do that whatever the case.)
Will these questions ever go away or do I assimilate them into whatever it is I finally do?
This morning I wrote this in my journal: “Find a beginning and follow it where ever it goes.” After three days of journaling this is what I have landed on?! But what beginning? Where?
Once it warms up into the 40’s today I will hike the four mile Cortez Mine Trail. There are so many places to hike here that I believe I will choose a different trail each day. I do some good thinking while I walk. And I anticipate that some good photos will come out of it.