I wrote this in My cancer Diary back in March…
One of the things I always wanted to write about was humility. We learned a lot about humility with his first cancer when there were so many people, so very many people, who wanted to help. And as you know there’s very little that people can do for you. Whenever somebody wanted to do something for us we learned to say yes, thank you. It took us a while to say yes, thank you. We had a discussion about it and both decided that it was the least we could do for people. That may sound silly to someone else, but we often needed the help. And friends were so desperate to do whatever they could for us.
There were some exceptions to that. I was driving him to Omaha every day for radiation treatments. Many folks offered to do this chore, but I said no, thankyou. I needed to take him. I wanted to be there to listen to what the doctor said. I didn’t want to get information second hand. I think I let Bill take him once. I was probably worried the whole time that they were gone!
I can’t remember everything, but one thing people could do that very cold snowy winter was to scoop the driveway since we needed it to be clear everyday. That was a blessing. And don’t tell Jim, but some days when we got home and I got him settled in for his well deserved nap I would race down to Cerny’s to have a glass of wine and a good cry before I filled the tank up with gas so we were ready for the next day. Love and wine, what better gifts could I ask for?
People would bring us food every once in a while, although there wasn’t much necessity for that, he couldn’t eat at all and I felt so guilty because I needed to eat that when I would run out to get gas I would gulp down a sandwich or something so that he wouldn’t have the smell of food in the house.
So many people offered help in so many ways. For us it was humbling and it was wonderful and loving. You know there’s no way to express how thankful if you are. Because you’re not just thankful for the deed that they’re doing, you’re thankful for the love that deed represents. There is a lot of love, well it’s Jim Cunningham, so of course there’s a lot of love for my husband out there in the world. He has given it and now he’s getting it back.”