By the length of Jimmy’s hair I would put this photo at spring/summer 2019. We took it to make our kids jealous. I mean – UNL Dairy Store ice cream. What could be better?
In my last post I spoke about the resolutions I made in 2012. That was over a year before Jim’s first cancer sent us into a tailspin. When I reread it, I have to confess, I miss that naïve sixty year old a bit. She was so sure that having an open mind and an open heart was all she needed. All else would fall into place. Some friends of mine (You know who you are) have a little saying we pull out at difficult times. (Close your eyes if the F word offends.) AFGO: Another Fucking Growth Opportunity. I think in our 60’s we even had T-Shirts!
But that’s what life is, isn’t it? One experience after another. Many of them are so good, if you are as fortunate as I am, that the tough ones really pack a punch. Right in the gut. I always ask Elizabeth and Sean to try to recognize the lessons, especially from the punches that knock us to our knees. What can we learn from this? How do we take it forward?
I know Jim recognized all the lessons. He saw life as a growth opportunity. I believe that it was his unspoken moto. What can I learn from this? How can I do better? How do I become more thoughtful? He took in all that the world had to offer and was grateful for it. He traveled and made friends where ever he went. He was curious. He never let not knowing about something be an impediment to finding out and understanding. He read. He watched. He listened. I lived in awe of the way he approached new experiences. My goal back in January of 2012 was to try to create a mindset for myself that more resembled his.
His last year was pretty tough, but I watched as he became more and more mindful. I recognized that conversations and visits with his friends and his family become priorities. Some people might not think of Jim Cunningham as a humble man. Lets face it he knew how handsome he was. He knew how smart. He had all the things. I often thought of the line from the movie, The Way We Were, “Things came easy for him.” They didn’t always, but he always made you think they did!
But the last few months of his life, though he rarely left the house, he became even more thoughtful. He listened with more intensity. He loved more. Not just me and our kids, but everybody. And he appreciated. Even when he felt awful, he appreciated the life he had, the friends that he saw. He listened to the music that he loved. He pondered. I don’t know about what exactly, but I witnessed the thoughts in his expressions. Sometimes there are things you don’t need to discuss. Or there are just no words.
I write these things so that I can be reminded to appreciate, to ponder, to be curious, to learn, to do. I am very grateful to have his example to follow.